My last published blogpost was from 2022. Even then my creative well was already long dried up. Since then four years have passed. I am a 46 year old bachelor.
My last decade was a long decade of stagnation in a time in life when you’re supposed to make serious steps in creating a life. Important years to build a career and cash in on your Academic achievement. A period to find a partner and create a home. A period also to live and make the most of your relative health and youth, but with hopefully a bit more spemding power.
I did none of that. I struggled most of that decade just barely hanging on. I dated occasionally, I had employment most of the time, a roof over my head, physical health (God bless), but I was surviving and struggling getting to grips with myself. Many moments I just assumed I was depressed. I took antidepressants. I did some therapy and they assumed I had a personality disorder. I almost believed they were right. Almost.
Luckily I couldn’t accept my life as it was and didn’t want to give up trying. This was not how I wanted to waste my years. I took up therapy one last time, a hail mary before resigning myself definitely to my fate. That’s how I discovered I have lived 45 years with untreated ADHD.
There is much more to write about the whole experience and I will in future posts. But what I will share now is that the diagnosis fits. Initial healthy doubts slowly faded away and since I started on lisdexamfetamine medication I am absolutely certain.
So here I am, after an initial adjustment period in which the medication mostly helped me relax and recover from years of fatigue, the stimulant is stimulating. And so after 11 years of draught the well is ready to spill over. I am thrilled and excited and I will share my late diagnosed ADHD story. If only for my own catharsis. And hopefully maybe it will find a few fellow ADHDers and help them too.
God bless