He did it again and what was it all about anyway? His mother called him up asking for advice about the coming Holiday meal. Was there something she forgot?
“I told you mother, only good quality meat, I’m tired of the Shoarma and Dad’s hamburgers. What’s wrong with deer, or beef and perhaps some rabbit? Something out of the ordinary, something to mark the Holiday’s. Who eats Shoarma at Christmas anyways? ”
“You’re Jewish, dear’.
‘Yeah, you don’t have to remind me, I don’t care, it’s a Holiday nonetheless and I want quality meat!’
‘We bought good meat, we have a lot of beef and just a few hamburgers, your Dad says we got plenty, we can’t finish it all in one sit!’
‘Yeah, but I thought that last time we promised we would buy less meat, and focus on the quality instead. The shops are full with special meat at good prices, haven’t you seen the commercials? Why do I Always have to get dissapointed? I thought we went through it last time. Remember how Alfred ate all the deer last time? Before we noticed it, it was gone. He ruined it for me that time. And this year Alfred isn’t coming and now we have Shoarma?’
‘And why hotdogs? The hotdogs are for the kids, and Alfred isn’t coming, and neither are Janice and Sarah and little Lisa.’
‘I like hotdogs, I bought them because I like them’. ‘I am sorry it’s not to your expectations, I’m sorry I made you feel sad. You make me feel sad a little dear.’
‘Never mind. We will make the best of it. Talk to you later mom’.
He made her feel sad. In his mind he was thinking over the conversation. He didn’t feel such a bad temper in a long time. It caught him off-guard. Poor mother. Christmas was still a few days ahead and he had already ruined it. This year would have been a special occasion. It would be just him, his sister and mom and dad. His brother Alfred and Janice and the kids werent coming and Eliza his other sister was staying with her boyfriend. Just the four of them this year. This was also supposed to be the year he said goodbye to his anger issues. He tackled them, he finally dealt his anger the final blow. December was calmer than ever and he couldn’t care less about new-years eve or the fact that he had no party to go too. Perhaps that was what caught him off guard in the first place. He wasn’t expecting such an outburst over nothing.
He picked up the Phone.
‘Hi dear’
‘Hi mom’. ‘Listen, I’m sorry’. ‘I was foolish and I don’t know what the heck was wrong with me’. ‘I don’t know, I was on my way from the supermarket and it was cold and dark and I was feeling bad and lonely the last couple of days and I think I just lost it’ ‘I know you and dad did your best, I am really looking forward to Christmas.
‘You’re Jewish’
‘Yeah, I know, I mean the food and watching the BBC and drinking wine and what not’
‘Please don’t feel bad mom’, ‘I love you’.
He got choked up by tears.
‘Tell dad I love him too’
‘Don’t be so dramatic as if you wont live to see him wednesday!’
‘Sorry, it’s just that I’m really sorry’. ‘I want to celebrate and be thankful for being together’, ‘I wanted to celebrate the growth I made last year, to bury the hatchet, so to speak.’ ‘I am really looking forward to it mom, forget my earlier remarks’, ‘It meant nothing’.
‘It’s ok dear’. ‘We are all looking forward to it, it will be a special occasion, just the four of us, and plenty of food’. ‘See you wednesday dear’
‘See you mom’.
He was glad he called to set things straight. He did it again, but much less frequent and he really did look forward to Christmas this year. This year would be the end of it. Next year would be different. No more negativity. Next year would be his year and next year he would celebrate Christmas at his place, with a tree, eventhough he was Jewish and so he would on new years eve, surrounded with a lot of loving and caring people. That would be next year.
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